Blog for a Cure - A community of cancer survivors supporting each other. Log into your account or create a new account.

avatar

(9/19/09)

Vital Info


Alyssa (ldbug)


April 3, 2009


San Francisco, California


July 5/mom is May 15


In Memory of a Loved One

Cancer Info


Endometrial / Uterine Cancer


(Mother's Cancer ) Uterine Leiomyosacroma


Mother Diagnosed November 2008


Stage 3


05


Grade 3


No


Hysterectomy


yes


Adriamycin (chemical name: doxorubicin)


Raised $375 for Sarcoma Alliance/raised $210 for SF Komen


It took my mom; The constant anxiety and fear of things beyond my control getting worse for my mom when she was alive.


That Faith and Love is all I have


Listen and share your insights - I'm learning as I go...


Her medical oncologist refused alternative tx, we gave her Chinese herbs


vagina, lungs, ribs, humerus (arm bone) and femur (thigh bone) and supposedly her stomach


Radiation Tx for Vaginal Tumor – 4/20/09-5/5/09 (mom is fatigued, loss of appetite)
Radiation Tx for Metastasis on Ribcage – 4/27/09-5/8/09
Mom developed a UTI that went unnoticed – doc said it was normal pain – this delayed her chemo tx.


Spirit of Survival West 2009 – www.sarcomaalliance.com
http://beatsarcoma.org

Also fundraising for Susan G. Komen SF Race for the Cure



RSS Feed

ldbug's Cancer Blog

Alyssa's Mother's Memorial
(9/19/2009)


Rest in Peace
by blogforacure

My god hold you in his arms...
by Nancy

Another angel looking down over us. We love you!
by Kellye

The angels have welcomed another beautiful soul.
by Jill

The heavens are brighter by one more star
by Ron

Praying for you and your family
by curlygirl

May God's peace be with you.
by Tami

She will never be forgotton, always in your heart.
by zoey9171

by Cheryl

Praying for you and your family.
by Joyce

With deepest sympathy. May the memories of your Mom stay with you and comfort you always.
by audrey

A mother's love knows no distance or time. She wi
by debby

God bless you & your family.
by Colleen Ryan

Only Love transcends death. Love on!
by Julie Hayes

by Billie Jean

Peace to you and your family
by Cindy

by Grace

may she be at peace now
by Amy

Our band of angels just got bigger! God Bless you.
by Nancy Glass

God bless all of you!
by Jeanee

She is God's loving arms
by Sherri

My thoughts and prayers are with your family
by tmay

close your eyes and feel a hug from me...sending you what comfort I can!
by Larissa

Rest in Peace
by yuyu

Although it's difficult today to see beyond the sorrow, May looking back in memory help comfort you tomorrow.
by Miriam

I pray for your family some peace.
by Stacy

She no longer has to deal with this demon.
by Stacey

I am so sorry! Best wishes where you are!
by Janet

My thoughts & Prayers
by Patty

With loving thoughts for you and your family.
by Frank

So sorry for your loss. Damn, I hate this disease
by julie445

With love ((hugs))
by Sonia

We live on in everything we teach our children
by Katie

Light Candle

August 6, 2010

I just turned 35, the first birthday without mom…I finally got serious about my personal healing and de-stress. Among things like taking a class in Understanding Chinese Medicine, getting acupuncture and massage, starting to invest money in my IRA, I also started grief therapy. It took almost a year, but I needed it.
I’m on my 3rd week going on my 4th. Every time I walk in there, I think that I have nothing much to say this week – I don’t know why I need to get prodded, but then…it happens. I talk and I cry. It’s this deep hurt, like a break in my heart, that I can’t seem to fix, and I just cover it with smiles and denial.
The last 2 sessions have been good…in the former of the two, I had my first breakthrough. One thought led to another thought that led to another thought that made me look at this UGLINESS I was hiding. I thought of my behavior on the days when my mom wasn’t hungry in the hospital and I walked out angrily because she “wasn’t trying”, I thought of our last trip together and how she had that UTI we didn’t know about and when we’d walk, she’d walk behind me, so when I’d slow down to try and walk with her, she’d slow down and I would be so annoyed. UGLY UGLY UGLY feeling – It makes me tear up just typing this. UGH, but I know I also fought tooth and nail for her.
The therapy session this past week was another good one. I told the therapist that I have residual anxiety and stress from last year. I would sleep like 2-3 hours a night just worried about my mom being in the hospital, thinking and thinking about how we would get her out of there. Thinking and planning took up most of my mental time and energy, and when she was gone, I filled that mental gap with other things…like taking a class, starting acupuncture, appointment for massage, reading new books, planning planning, stressing stressing, keep on on moving, go go go.
She had me do this breathing exercise to just sit and be…and notice what thoughts pop in, etc. So, as usual, I’m distracted by outside noises, and realize my breathing is pretty rapid and shallow – what is this about? Why am I so worried? Then I think of my up-coming weekend plans and I’m worried that I’m not prepared, I don’t want to let people down that I’ll be out with. Then it dawns on me, I’m fearing failure (which is not new to me, I’m such an over-achiever!). But this fear stems from feeling that I failed to save my mother – Logically, I know there is nothing more I could’ve done for her, but my heart doesn’t understand that.
I feel good that I’ve named these emotions that are ruling my life, but now I have to figure out how to let these emotions rest without dominating me. I’m just not sure how to let go without resolve, without having things turn out how I wanted them to, without having my prayers answered and have my mom still here….Tough times are still ahead, but this was still a huge step for me.




Dear Alyssa,
You’ve suffered a great loss and I can only image what you’re going through. I’m really happy you’ve at least experienced a break through with your emotional health regarding your mom’s illness and how you perceive yourself in her journey.

Have you heard of the Healing Codes? It helped me tremendously during my bout with anal cancer. The stress and anxiety (fear of death) was alleviated.

The book is available on amazon if you decide to look into it.

Sending hugs,
Theresa

My sweet Alyssa:

I’m so very proud of you! Wow, what you’ve accomplished in just 4 weeks…well, it should not surprise me because you are an over achiever like you said. You’ve come a long way and still have more to explore. But I know you will keep on growing and learning how to heal your self. Your mom knows how much you loved and fought for her. I want you to keep on walking this path. It makes me smile to hear from you.

Big hugs being sent to you and Happy belated birthday!
Teresa

Hi Alyssa, Happy Birthday! and your crying brings us all closer to healing. . . thank you for healing for yourself, for us, for your ancestors and for the whole universe. In my own experience, every tear opened up a deeper space through which love and empathy may pass into my awareness . . . I had so much of my soul and essence covered up .. that the crying helped peal back the layers of gook….. my heart is with you in this process we all share. There is a great book you might want to check out.. it is called Essence, The Diamond Approach To Inner Realization. . . you may find it fascinating…. best wishes always,, your butty, Frank



July 21, 2010

Just a heads up…I’m raising funds for the 2nd Annual Caminemos Por Vida (translates to Walking for life) 5-mile walk taking place on October 10, 2010 in SF Golden Gate Park.

Circulo de Vida is a non-profit organization that provides support services to Latino and Spanish-speaking families dealing with cancer….the only one of it’s kind, I might add.

http://www.active.com/donate/caminemosaz



Alyssa's Mother's Memorial
(9/19/2009)

Ldbug's Stats

Posts: 61
Photos: 11
Events: 2
My Supporters: 26
I Support: 26
Comments: 168
Views: 23645

My Supporters:

JillJill   tmaytmay   YuyuYuyu   FrankFrank  
MacMac   Colleen RyanColleen Ryan   debbydebby   julie445julie445  
TheresaTheresa    Katie Katie   AngelwthwingzAngelwthwingz   KellyeKellye  
Larry ParishLarry Parish   ElenaElena   SherrySherry   SandySandy  

See all 26 Supporters



Become a Supporter




Advertising









If you wish to become an sponsor please see our sponsor page. All proceeds will go back into building a better system.

JillThanks for your support - Jill, Founder, Cancer Survivor

p.s. If you have any suggestions on how to improve Blog for a Cure, send me some feedback. Keep in touch & let me know how I can make this the best system possible for you.